If you’re like me and get discouraged sometimes wondering if you are really a good mom, then this is for you. My answers may surprise you 🙂
#1 Good Moms Wonder If They Are Bad Moms
Being a mom is hard. Like real hard sometimes.
Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a good mom. Even now. I’ll have a bad day all too often, and in my discouragement I think, “Am I really even making a difference? Do these kids even learn anything from me?” I can tell them something 20 times and I still feel like they don’t hear me.
I get to the point where I think maybe I’m screwing them up more than anything else.
One of the many things I’ve learned over the 18 years and counting that I’ve been a mom is that even good moms make a ton of mistakes. A ton. I don’t always have saint like patience and sometimes I yell more than I want to. I jump to conclusions and get upset right away before thinking. Sometimes I’m not consistent. Sometimes I just want to be alone. Some days I’m too tired to give baths. I actually hate cooking supper and sometimes I refuse to. I get busy and don’t play with the little ones as much as I’d like. Then I start to wonder if all of that will have negative impact on my kids and I start to get scared that I will somehow forever scar them….
But you know what?! That is how EVERY GOOD MOM feels sometimes. The fact that I care so deeply about how my parenting is affecting my children is one way I can tell that I AM a good mom. If I didn’t care, didn’t think about it, if I didn’t try to do better everyday. If I never got discouraged because I didn’t care enough to, I think that would mean I wasn’t a great mom.
“THE VERY FACT THAT YOU WORRY ABOUT BEING A GOOD MOM MEANS THAT YOU ALREADY ARE ONE.”-Unknown
#2 Your Kids Get Mad At You
I’m sorry but you can not be a good mom if your child NEVER gets mad at you.
” I want 2 cookies before supper.” “Sorry, you cant have snacks before supper.” ” I don’t like you anymore!”
“Come do your chores.” “Do I have to do it tonight?” “yes you do!” “Ugh you’re mean! Why cant you leave me alone!”
“Put the tablet away now.” “I don’t want to!” “It’s time for school!” “You’re not my best friend anymore!”
“Can I hang out with my friends this weekend?” “No, you’re grounded for lying to me the other day about being at work when you were really at your friends house.” “UGH, why do you never let me do anything!!”
” Come sit on the potty” “NOOOO” “Please?” “You’re so rude!!”
I’ve heard all of these just this week haha. Its our responsibility as mothers to set healthy boundaries for our kids. We are not their friend, we are their mom. We need to teach them acceptable behavior. Behavior that will get them through life. If you haven’t figured it out already, most of the time they aren’t going to like it, but that’s ok. Next time you have a “I hate you mom! ” hurled at you out of nowhere, rest assured you’re good mom.
#3 Good Moms Are Selfish Sometimes
By selfish I mean, they take some time for themselves. Good moms know that in order to be a good mom they need to recharge their batteries so they can give their best self to their kids.
I’m not saying that its ok go to go out every night with your friends or do whatever you want whenever you want. A good mom also knows how to prioritize and always puts their kids needs first.
If my child is sick and needs me I’m going to have to cancel my dinner with friends. That’s just how it is, But when your child’s needs are meet there is no reason why you cant take some time just for you, ALONE! Good moms know that and they need a break once and awhile, and they give their selves permission to do that.
I used to think that I couldn’t do anything alone and that if I took time to go out with friends for a dinner or go to get a pedicure that I was being too selfish. But I quickly ran myself so far into exhaustion and stress that I got depressed.
If you’re driving your car with little gas, you will begin to run on fumes and then you will come to a complete stop when the gas runs out. In order to go anywhere else you need to put more gas in your tank. We all know that. Well, think of yourself the same way. You have a tank that needs refilled when its running low or you’re going to come to a complete stop. For me that stop was depression.
I had been giving everything I had to my kids and not putting anything back in my tank, So it ran out! Luckily that hasn’t happened to me for quite sometime because I allow myself to refill my tank without guilt of feeling that its too selfish. I am usually able to figure out when I’m getting low and I make the necessary arrangements to refill my tank before I reach empty. I have me time, even if its just taking a long bath alone or going to the store alone. Its a much needed break and Good moms know they need it 🙂
#4 Good Moms Don’t Share Everything With Their Kids
That may seem rude, but I think its perfectly acceptable and needed.
Let me explain in a short true story taken from my life.
A couple years ago I bought expensive face wash and moisturizer for the first time. I had never before shelled out alot of money for my skin care but I found a product I really liked and decided to go for it.
Not long after getting it and using it for a month or 2 I noticed my moisturizer had disappeared from the bathroom. I knew I didn’t move it and couldn’t imagine where it had went.
Then I went to my girls room and found out. There was my precious bottle of moisturizer on my oldest daughters dresser. I was aggravated but tried to relax and took it back to the bathroom. I squirted some out an immediately recognized that it was NOT my moisturizer in my moisturizer bottle. My daughter had dumped my expensive moisturizer down the drain and replaced it with her cheap moisturizer because she liked the bottle!!!
Words can not describe how mad I was, It was only slightly surpassed by the time when that same daughter took all my good makeup to school with her without asking and I had no idea until I started getting ready for work and discovered my makeup was all gone!! I had nothing to put on for work! Later I found out her and all her friends used it, including my eyeliner!!!
That was it , I decided that was not ok, My stuff is not just everyone’s to do with what they will. Im allowed to have some stuff that’s mine and only mine. It makes me feel good, its how I pamper myself.
So as you can see below I had my husband install a lock on my makeup cabinet and I keep everything that I don’t want them to touch in there, under lock and key. Well until my 3 year old lost the key, but I’m going to buy a new lock asap haha.
Good moms know its ok to have some sacred makeup, or face moisturizer, or chocolate hidden away that’s only theirs. It’s a little bit of pampering we deserve!
#5 A Good Mom Encourages Her Kids
A Good mom knows its important to encourage and uplift her kids.
I always try to encourage and compliment my kids whenever I see a possibility. I think its super important that they build self confidence. Encouraging them often helps them do that. I let them know I’m in their corner, I believe in them and I’m proud of them, even when they make mistakes.
Its important that kids know they are loved, and that someone believes in them and their dreams. A good mom tells her kids that she loves them often. Her words and actions show them that they are loved, appreciated , valued and respected. And that’s what’s most important. 🙂
If you fall under any of these categories, you can know that you’re a good mom.